Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Here in Camelot, we eat Spam a lot....

There's a country song I heard once, "If I had a nickel for everytime I wanted you back .... I'd have a dime. One thin dime."

Lately, if I had a dollar for every piece of spam that has offered me cash, I wouldn't need a job. Today's offerings, not including Christian Home mortgages ( I'm not sure if the loan company is Christian, they only loan to Christians, or most likely, the house itself must be saved... haven't asked my house yet, I'm afraid of it's answer). Anyhoo, today I've been offered at least 40K in scholarship money. I'm guessing that either Duke University or the College Board has sold a list. But with forty thousand dollars, my oldest son could at least eat at college. He would be up to his armpits in spam. And since he's already five foot seven at age 12, that's a good sized pile of spam. Even for Monty Python fans.

It's amazing that junior high humor remains forever at the junior high level. I found Monty Python in junior high, where my classmates, at least the male ones, would re-enact entire skits over and over again during lunch. (and classes too, but I don't want to be a bad influence.) Now my two sons are doing the same thing. Like a cycle. The giant wooden badger doesn't loose its luster, even after thirty years. I guess no one ages in Camelot. The spam has too many preservatives.

Monday, February 27, 2006

The Degeneration of Good Intentions....

Plans are only good intentions unless they immediately degenerate into
hard work.
-- Peter Drucker

My first thought, a question really, was is this Mr. Drucker of the Green Acres Generl Store fame? I mean the quote is profound, but I could see Sam Drucker saying it. But then I realized that Sam and Peter most likely weren't the same person, or he'd have the same first name. Amazing how brilliant I can be at five am.

Peter Drucker, had he run Drucker's General Store, would have had something of Walmart Proportions in several years. He was born in Vienna, 1909, got a PHd in Public and International Law and moved to the States in 1939. About the time of Hitler taking over Europe, which makes me wonder if he was Jewish, timing wise. The little bio I read didn't say. But it did say he's written 35 books, fifteen that are management classics and 2 novels, and one book of autobiographical essays. I'd like to read that one. He wrote for a long time for the Wall Street Journal. The thing that impresses me, he wrote and published his latest book in 2002. So that would make him, what, 83 when he wrote his last book? Amazing.

History lesson over. But I love this quote. Plans degenerating into hard work is what writing is all about. The problem is, it is so much easier to talk about what you want to do, then to actually sit the butt in the chair and work. It's easier to stroll along the fiction section of the book store and see where your finished work would be shelved, than to sit and finish. It is easier to talk about writing than to sit and write. It is even easier to listen to some one else talk about writing, someone who's actually done the work, than to do the work yourself. Or myself, no reason not to claim the problem myself. The more you talk about something, specifically a writing project, the bigger it gets and the more difficult it becomes to actually write it. Because, in my case, the talent is easily outpaced by the imagination and planning part. Hemingway used to say that when he talked about a work before the writing, he would "use up" all the words and not be able to write it, as if the act of talking about it would be the brain's equivalent of writing. The gray matter says, Been there, done that, wait for the movie. And the page remains blank, or worse, the words are there, but feel flat, lifeless, and flogged to death.

I'm not sure what my point is, besides the fact I really need to get some work done this week!

Friday, February 24, 2006

Thoughts about doubt...

I hear and I forget; I see and I remember; I write and I understand.

--Chinese Proverb

The rule of the writer is not to say what we can all say but what we are unable to say.

--Anais Nin

I believe in not quite knowing. A writer needs to be doubtful, questioning. I write out of curiousity and bewilderment.

--William Trevor


The old saw about writing is Write What You Know. But the above talk more about writing what you don't know. Or finding out what you do know through the writing. Kind of like morning pages. I really don't know what I think about things until I run a few miles pondering it and I don't know what I feel about things until I scribble a few lines about it in a ten cent spiral notebook.

I have tons of these notebooks in a closet, a closet I'm getting ready to pack up before the move. My first thought is do I really want to keep them? Am I going to read them someday? Probably not. Will my children read them some day, and would they want to? There's a lot of stuff there written early in the mornings, illegible. But if I keep them all, there's quantity. There's a solid feel in this little box, my words have a physical weight and heft that is quite comforting. So, yeah, I'll keep them. I've been having my kids shred a two foot stack of printed manuscripts, earlier versions of Practical Flying. The shreds are being used as packing material, so my words are protecting fragile things. Kind of comforting. It's absolutely amazing how much the book has changed.

But write what you know seems like bad advice in a world where we really don't know. Not that there as ever been a world where we do know, but it's so much easier to find things we don't know. To write is to learn. Or the path, process, whatever zen word you'd like, to learning. At least my bumpy trail. Some people think on their feet, some think with their voices, (and verbal, oral thinkers drive me nuts!) and some think on the page. Guilty as charged.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The hardest thing to describe in words...

I think sounds are the hardest thing to describe. I say this, because I'm trying to describe someone's voice in my current book. I can hear this character's particular voice in my head, she sounds exactly like one of my dear friends in college. Funny, I haven't talked to her in almost twenty years, yet her voice still stands out in my head. Of course I would give it to one of my favorite characters.

The goal, I would say, is to take the voice in my head and describe it so you could hear it in your head the same way. But I'm not sure that could be done, not without a bonus cd or Mp3 file with the book. So the challenge I guess is to remind the reader of someone they have heard with a similar voice. Because we probable all know someone with the voice. Thing is, I could use some forties actress for an example, but readers my age or younger would be left out. And can't use current stars/celebrities with similar voices, since they weren't even a twinkle in their daddy's eye. Shoot, their daddy's weren't even twinkles for some of them.

But is it the exact sound I'm looking to convey, or the quality. Like one character has a smooth voice, a with a lilt to it, like she just came from a church choir rehearsal and wasn't done singing yet. One character has a fake breathlessness to her voice that she learned from her mother. Kind of Mae West, but more phony, because she won't speak to women in the same tone. And main character's voice, kind of raspy with the hint of a permanent case of laryngitis. Which makes her singing really awful. She really can't sing. The couple of mentions of that have been edited out, but it does tell you something about the character. Does it bother her she can't sing. Don't know, I'll have to ask....

Monday, February 20, 2006

It's the emotions, stupid

If you stuff yourself full of poems, essays, plays, stories, novels, films, comic strips, magazines, music, you automatically explode every morning like Old Faithful. I have never had a dry spell in my life, mainly because I feed myself well, to the point of bursting. I wake early and hear my morning voices leaping around in my head like jumping beans. I get out of bed to trap them before they escape.

--Ray Bradbury

The rule of the writer is not to say what we can all say but what we are unable to say.

--Anais Nin

The world I create in writing compensates for what the real world does not give me.

--Gloria Anzaldua

One of the reasons a writer writes, I think, is that his stories reveal so much he never thought he knew.

--Cecelia Holland


A common thread in all of these quotes...all of them make me think of the emotion thing I've been working on in my fiction. Funny thing is, as I'm going through my ms, asking "what is going on emotionally here?" I know, can sorta feel what the characters are feeling. The hard part is putting it in words, and even harder is putting it in fresh, non-cliche words.

My family didn't do emotions. They were messy, so we just weren't going to have them Later in life, my mother allowed herself to have feelings, and she would also tell us how we felt. Always helpful. Of course, she wasn't on the bullseye, in fact the ol' arrow didn't even hit an outer ring, just went whizzing by. So, when it came time to get married, our pre-marriage counselor gave me a full sheet of little faces with feeling words underneath, like Happy, Perplexed, Depressed, Satisfied, etc. I wore the durn thing out. Now I need to find another copy, for my little characters to use. Can't hurt.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

More great quotes

Otherwise known as what I will be pondering as I go run this afternoon....

Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent
to the dark place where it leads.
-- Erica Jong

Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those
voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face
the truth.
-- Katherine Mansfield



Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader
something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content
in your writing.
-- Randy K. Milholland, Something Positive Comic, 07-03-05

Something for everyone!

Friday, February 17, 2006

Once more, with feeling...

I am starting another full run through of edits of "Practical Flying". My crit group, bless their little hearts, continue to say that my writing is fine, just utterly devoid of emotion. Yeppers. Story of my life there. So, I instigated a two step plan of action. The first step is to read books that contain said emotion. Step 2 involves writing at 4:30 in the morning. I'm finding that it's easier to write emotion before the brain is fully awake. And I can even ignore the dog snoring now.

I know the characters and I know what they are feeling, when I actually stop to think about it, but I'm not getting the work done. I'm still not able to get the reader to feel it as well. I'm too afraid of telling the reader what to think and feel, because I hate that in books. I like the E.L.Doctorow quote, to the effect of don't tell the reader it's raining, let him feel the drops. Wait, I'm on line, no reason not to get the quote exact...


If you did not write every day, the poisons would accumulate and you would begin to die, or act crazy or both -- you must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

--Ray Bradbury

A writer is like a bag lady going through life with a sack and a pointed stick collecting stuff.

--Tony Hillerman

Planning to write is not writing. Outlining a book is not writing. Researching is not writing. Talking to people about what you're doing, none of that is writing. Writing is writing.

--E. L. Doctor

Nope, those aren't it, but I just found them and I like them. Here is what I was looking for : "Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader--not the fact that it is raining, but the feeling of being rained upon."
E.L. Doctorow


That's what I want to do. Back to the saltmines...

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Fat Bodies, Thin Lives

"It is only by following your deepest instinct that you can lead a rich live, and if you let your fear of consequence prevent you from following you deepest instinct, then your life will be safe, expedient, and thin.

Katherine Hathaway.

Funny, but Hathaway here shares the same last name of one of the great "thin" characters of sixties/seventies television - Miss Jane Hathaway, the banker's secretary on Beverly Hillbillies. She does seem to embody this quote.

I read it this morning in a cluster of quotes sent by email and it got me to thinking about American obsessions with celebrities and sports heroes. Is our cultural fascination with these folks stemming from the fact that we perceive them to have "thin bodies and fat lives?" The paparazzi does portray them as being and doing everything that a person could want, and most interviews include words to the effect that they are living their dreams and doing every thing they always wanting to do. How many in our real everyday lives can say that?

I come from a people of safe, expedient, lives. Thin lives, where conversations dwell on the lives of others.And most of the women eventually pushed the scales to two hundred and fifty or more, none over five foot three. My aunts and grandmothers would constantly talk about others, and tear them down. I can still remember cringing when I heard them critizing yet another family member or public figure, kind of the "who does she think she is?" kind of thing. And wondering if I was the topic when I wasn't there. (Apparently, yes.)Looking back, it was so they could feel better about the choices they made, or lived by default, this I see now.

That may be the main point. That fat lives, and thin bodies, neither can be live by default in our society. Choices must be made, both at key moments and ordinary times. The easy way, to accept the defaults, lets the blame for poor decisions appear to belong to others. But it's still the fault of the defaulter, not the one who set up the defaults.

Yet, everything around me insists the key to life is to be safe and expedient. Insurance ads, fad diets, new laws and products are all screaming that life can and should be safer and thus more satisfying. There are no ads in print or television telling you how to follow your passions, only how to make more money working from home on the internet. Of course, one other option is offered. Numbness.

Which came first? Fat bodies or thin lives? Is one the result of the other? I could see where either could be the first, but I'm starting to think maybe the obesity epidemic we're facing in kids could be the result of the thin lives they are witnessing and living. "If that is what life is going to be like, pass the Twinkies..." There is no place to run, explore, have adventures, except for sports and video games. And unless a child is extremely talented, they are not encouraged to continue to play sports after a certain age. No one plays for fun anymore.

I love novels where this is the character's struggle, to accept the defaults or choose to follow his or her heart. Even the old Austen and Bronte books deal twith this, the choice between expediency and societal norms or to live in line with one's heart. I'm starting to see that the characters I write about have no problem with living according to their passions, it's almost second nature. Maybe, since role models have been so few, I'm just making up my own.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

It's day 2 of the great 4:30 am experiment...

and the hardest thing about getting up at 4:30 in the morning is not the actual getting up, but the going to bed at a reasonable hour. The whole world seems to be conspiring against it. There are meetings, soccer games, etc the rest of the week. Which in themselves are fine and dandy things, but they do go on! But on the plus side, no one really emails at that hour and the rest of the cyber world is silent as well.

Now, if only I could actually get some bona fide work done. I mean, I spent yesterday morning dinking with Yahoo Briefcase, so I could more easily move the working copy from laptop to desktop. Too many places to work on it. But that pretty much shot the whole morning yesterday. Oh, and a couple of blog entries. But blogging actually helps get the ol' writing muscles primed. Or so I believe...

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

It's 4:30 am...do you know where your brain is?

I know where mine is...it's still in bed sleeping.But since my life has been declared a disaster area, the only time I can find for writing lately is either at four thirty or midnight. For some reason, I am actually more creative in the morning lately. Midnight, the only thing I want to to is watch Clint and Stacy redo wardrobes on What Not to Wear.

So I am sitting at the old desk, it's dark outside, and the dog is snoring. At least I have coffee. Lots of it. I have my file open. Another plus. And I am avoiding the act of figuring out which file is more current, the laptop version or the PC version. But as far as actual writing, it's not quite happening yet. At least not the fiction. I do have a couple of essays that need writing, so maybe I'll at least crank out a draft on one of those. Something, even,hey, a blog entry will justify getting up this early, right?

What I really want to do is search on line for a new house. Because our house, the one we are living in right now, the one we built while Dad was dying, now has a contingency contract on it. So we are technically homeless. Or as my brother says, I'm his unemployed, homeless older sister. I could use this in a memoir, couldn't I? I could use a "little" creative license and say we were homeless with 2 children, three guinea pigs and a dog for months. That's the latest rage in memoirs, fictional embellishment. I could really dig up some sympathy. But I really need to dig up a house. One that doesn't have a room falling off and sinking into the front yard, like the one we looked at yesterday.

Friday, February 03, 2006

A quote I can relate to...

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate
it.
-- Franklin P. Jones


When I was about sixteen, my father gave me a watch for Christmas, although he was quite adamant that it wouldn't do any good. He said I didn't need a watch, I needed a calendar and a keeper. I think he knew this not because I was always late, but because he was the same way. Mom, on the other hand, was always at least thirty minutes early. Even when she was in her fifties, she would not do ANYTHING in the morning if she had a lunch date. She didn't want to be late. That meant no running errands, even at nine, for a noon lunch.

See, opposites attract. Or compulsive people bring out passive aggression in others. One of the two.