Basic Bus Hair, part three

Standard disclaimers still apply...


The Caravan

"Follow Me." - Jesus Christ

In our continued efforts to be remade in the image of our Lord, we too have taken up the call, "Follow me." We shout it from the window as we depart from the parking lot of the McDonald's on Southwest Parkway and a train of 25 assorted vehicles bravely follow. Mothers yank their small childern from the streets; motorists turn to alternate routes. They know we are coming and they flee in fear.

Fear... It's in the eyes of on-coming traffic...it's in the hearts of those trying to pass...it's on the faces of the McDonald's employees as they watch 26 cars empty out...125 hungry people pouring into the dining room...125 people waving dollar bills and shouting "I'm McNext!!"

The secret to successul caravanning is simply ignorance. If someone besides the lead driver has any clue as to the destination, order control, indeed all is lost in the search for a shorter way, one dotted with Pizza Huts instead of McDonald's. By keeping everyone in total ignorance, one cannot help but follow the first vehicle or risk being lost forever in the vast Texas wastelands.

Remember our YL motto:
Ignorance is not only bliss - It's downright more efficient.



More on Caravans

"Fer shur, I'm driving!" - Vicki Haddad, narrowly avoiding a head-on collision while being reminded that she was the one behind the wheel.

The secret of safe caravan driving is to follow these simple rules of Safe Caravan Driving"

1. Follow the car ahead of you using the 3 second rule. Consult your driver's manual or the Shell Answer Man)

2. Trade tapes at rest stops, not at 75 m.p.h. on a two-lane highway.

3. Rule 2 also applies to passengers.

4. In the United States, the lane preferred by most drivers is the right hand lane. This preference is supported by the law. Since freedom of choice is somewhat restricted in this matter by the Constitution, wait until the next Constitional Congress to express your individualism.

5. Remember our YL mottoes:
a. Litter first
b. Safey bugs me

The secret of fun, exciting, risky caravanning is to ignore the above rules. Obviously, some conflicts will arise when some members of the caravan insist on safe caravanning while others opt for the more death-defying method. Ideally, the group will be unanimous, or the majority holds the car keys.


Tomorrow: Food for Thought.